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To Make Tough Conversations Productive, Focus On These 3 Things

Greg Satell
6 min readMar 15, 2025
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We spend most of our time with people who see things largely like we do. They work in similar industries, have similar educations and live in similar places. When confronted with areas of disagreement, we can usually bullshit our way through it and keep the peace. That’s how we normally go through life.

Yet difficult conversations are sometimes unavoidable. There are fundamental differences in values and perspectives as well as issues surrounding identity and status that underlie and shape every professional and personal relationship. At some point these need to be addressed in order to move forward with any ability to function effectively.

The good news is that there are sound evidence-based principles for how to have difficult conversations and resolve them in a positive way. Three strategies include identifying shared values, addressing status dynamics, and matching the conversation the other person wants to have. Mastering these concepts will help you lead, collaborate, and connect.

1. What’s The Shared Value?

Humans naturally form tribes. In a study of adults that were randomly assigned to “leopards” and “tigers,” fMRI studies noted hostility to out-group members. Similar results were found in a study involving five year-old children and…

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Greg Satell
Greg Satell

Written by Greg Satell

Co-Founder: ChangeOS | Bestselling Author, Keynote Speaker, Wharton Lecturer, HBR Contributor, - Learn more at www.GregSatell.com

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